yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
