I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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