Having a random hookup so left but love u
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
