She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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