No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
