Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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