There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
