Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
