Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
