Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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