She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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