I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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