do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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