got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
