dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Porn is love you can see.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Can you bring me the toilet please
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
