he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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