Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
