UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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