He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Can you repeat that, but with context?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
