Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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