Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
