I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
