I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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