And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize