You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
