just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize