I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
this must be what syphilis tastes like
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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