I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
True strength comes from lack of pants
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
