omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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