haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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