That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
