I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
