Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
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