You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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