Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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