I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Drunk is not a location!
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
