If i could tip my vagina, i would.
well you can't waste a boner
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
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