she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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