i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
