remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
