I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize