i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
