I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
