What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize