so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I am one with the molecules
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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