ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
my poor anus
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
