Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize