the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
