Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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