Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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