also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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