i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
It's never too late to be topless.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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