Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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