I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
