how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
