and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
