In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
