If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
