Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
