u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
