Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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