Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
