The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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