just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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