I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
