He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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