swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
40s are totally the cure
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
