I hate all girls vehemently.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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